


shameful feelings

by trouserhouser



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Grief, Heart Break, Living on, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:00:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trouserhouser/pseuds/trouserhouser
Summary: Daniel crushed him nearly (and he crushed on him).Charles crushed him (and he didn't crush on him).
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Kudos: 17





	shameful feelings

Daniel crushed him nearly (and he crushed on him).

His arms held him tightly as if Max would fall apart at any moment. The latter counted the seconds until Daniel would leave him alone, but nothing happened. Daniel couldn’t be shaken off so easily. Max didn’t know how to explain that feeling in his throat, but it was far from comfortable. Something in his body didn’t seem to cooperate or function, nevertheless everything felt utterly normal. Maybe he will soon catch a sore throat or the flu, he thought, however it was odd. It was outlandish how Daniel blew hot air onto the skin of his neck, how he buried his face into it and how his thumb caressed his cheek. Max got aware of the areas Daniel connected their skin, felt him in every cell of his body and noticed, that this was all too much to handle. He pushed him away, perhaps a bit too harsh, but Max didn’t care for now. He interrupted Daniels affection like a knife would cut through skin, leaving a wound that needed time to heal. Daniels shocked face expression gave him no chills.

“What is wrong with you?” Max asked, voice raucous. Daniel lowered his gaze while Max searched for answers. He couldn’t believe Daniel behaving like that. Not after all he went through the last days. He sighed loudly. The Australian mumbled some unrecognizable words as he turned his back to Max.

“I have enough and I had enough.” Max ran his hand through his hair, grabbed Daniels shoulder and turned him around. He looked him straight in the eyes even though he didn’t have the intention to do so. Daniels pupils always had a kind of calming effect on him. His chocolate-brown eyes were teared up. Max never saw his best friend with such sad soul mirrors and from one to the other second, he seemed more fragile than glass. As if Max words broke him and cracked his inside. He felt a bit guilty but not enough to be cautious.

Max’s head was a complete mess by now. He couldn’t bring up a reason for Daniel to act like this. He didn’t know, where the origin of this problem laid. However, he forced himself to find it out.

A few days later, Max hadn’t heard anything from Daniel, an unexpected phone call got him out of bed. He turned on his bedside lamp, because his shutters were still down. The ringing noise was all over his ears, as he eventually found his mobile phone under the bed sheet. He only had to read the name on his screaming display, to put his phone back down. How dare he is calling him at 7 o’clock. And how dare he didn’t change his name yet.

>>Charles <3<<: answer it

As if Max would obey him. As if he would listen to him anymore. He deleted the text message and put his mobile phone away.

After three incoming calls, he muted it. He wouldn’t let Charles destroy his day – not again.

Max went through a two hours workout, tidied up the mess in his living room and did the dishes (which were standing there for a few weeks now, because he couldn’t bring himself to do anything productive). Apparently, Daniel wanted to visit him and help with the household chores, after he saw the chaos during a facetime session, but Max wouldn’t open the door. It was better this way, he thought to himself. Daniel would have just ranted about Max untidiness and scolded him for not being a responsible adult. The Dutchman was almost finish with vacuuming, when his doorbell rang. Head in the clouds, he opened the door without thinking about it. It was no surprise that Charles fucking Leclerc stood in front of him, after he bombed him with phone calls. Max had the urge to slam the door shut, but that wouldn’t solve the problem. Not to lose his last nerve, he invited his ex-boyfriend inside.

“At least you are opening the goddamn door!” Charles barked. Max tensed and instantly regretted his decision to give in. He couldn’t look him in the eyes, not because he was afraid of the view, but afraid that his love hadn’t decreased since their last meeting. Max knew that he fought his feelings with anger and guilt, however seeing Charles turned off all his turmoil. He couldn’t hide from him, when he was standing there in his flat with a white shirt on and black jeans. His ex-boyfriend looked way too handsome to be his ex. Deep down Max knew that he could never consider him as an enemy. At least not when he was coming so close and taking his breath away. If possible, Charles made him tense up even more, than he already was. Max gulped and put all his energy into not looking at him.

“Did I interrupt you?” Max frowned and followed his finger, that pointed towards the vacuum cleaner.

“Uh, yeah. It was time.” He could slap himself, because of this sentence. Charles will definitely tease him with-

“So, you were hoping that ignoring my calls would lead to this situation here between the two of us? How nice you cleaned for me.” Okay, Max did really regret opening the door. He huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying to seem firmer.

“What is it? Is there any stuff you miss? Because I couldn’t find anything that is yours while cleaning.” _Just don’t focus on his eyes_ , he thought. Charles glanced to Max’s collar bones. The latter watched him in horror and grabbed the charm on his necklace.

He wasn’t ready yet to stop wearing it. It was a gift from Charles for their one-year anniversary. Max didn’t lay it down since.

“No.” His voice trembled. Subconsciously, he viewed Charles green-brown eyes, which gleamed of determination. His ex chuckled.

“I don’t want it, don’t panic.” Max was ashamed of how much this necklace meant to him, when it had no longer value to Charles. He was even more embarrassed, that he couldn’t hide that fact. “I just want to know the brand.” Max frowned again. The brand? He released the charm and let Charles throw a glance at it.

“Cartier. Thank you.” Without any gesture he left Max alone. No goodbye, just pure emptiness.

“Mate, what the hell was that?” Max complained and opened the gaming settings.

“Maybe your controller is low on battery?”, Daniels voice questioned through his headphones. This gaming session was more of a catastrophe than his dirty dishes last week.

“You may be right, the bar is red. Wait, I will get new ones.” He walked over to the drawer, which featured all kinds of batteries he needed for his household. As he changed them, his mobile phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and noticed a new Instagram notification – from Charles. Groaning, he closed the drawer and sat down on his chair again.

“Maxy, did you see Charles new post?”

“Why would I?” If he was completely honest with himself, he knew that he would look up the post after their gaming session. It was just not the right moment to check on it now.

“Perhaps it is easier for you to get over that cunt, when you just look at that shitty picture.” Now Max was even more curious than before.

It hit him like a truck. Charles really had the audacity to walk in his house (okay, he let him), check the brand and made a new bracelet for his new significant other. Max was about to throw up.

 _“Cartier. Thank you.”_ The words branded themselves in his mind. Fucking bastard.

“It is surely hard for you but as I said, it was just a _phase_.”

“Shut up, Daniel.” He hung up.

Max had only two worries. A broken heart and a best friend who was about to ruin their precious friendship.

He didn’t know, what was more painful.


End file.
